I am not a dentist
Underwear should be worn on the inside
The Christmas Pageant does not stink
I will not torment the emotionally frail
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
I will not conduct my own fire drills
Funny noises are not funny
I will not spin the turtle
I will not fake seizures
This punishment is not boring and pointless
I will not prescribe medication
I will not bring sheep to class
A burp is not an answer
Teacher is not a leper
I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call
Goldfish don't bounce
No one is interested in my underpants
I do not have diplomatic immunity
I will not charge admission to the bathroom
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
I am not delightfully saucy
Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does
Next time it could be me on the scaffolding
I will not strut around like I own the place
The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far
I do not have power of attorney over first graders
I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface
Hillbillies are people too
It does not suck to be you
A trained ape could not teach gym
Fridays are not "pants optional"
Substitute teachers are not scabs
My suspension was not "mutual"
I will not dance on anyone's grave
I cannot hire a substitute student
I will not plant subliminal messagores
I will not publish the Principal's credit report
This school does not need a "regime change"
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3 comments:
My favorite Chris 6th grade chalkboard sayings:
I will not make a gum wrapper chain longer than the equator.
Remember when Duran (as in Duran Duran, that band taught us science, it was great!) confiscated your magnificent chain? That was an important part of your 6th grade identity and he ripped it from you in much the same way that he would rip a beer from a bartender's hand.
Um, that's all the chalkboard sayings I can think of for now but trust me, she spent a lot of time at the chalkboard. Personally I think she way trying to get high off the chalk dust.
But hey, remember when we had to write sentences and you would get in trouble if you started them vertically like this:
I
I
I
I
I will
I will
I will
I will
I will not...
You get the point but it made them look so much neater. Wasn't neatness ever a priority? Sheesh.
Post something else. My internet life is yawnish.
Sweet merciful crap! Update please! Not that I mind looking at that pirate guy or anything but perhaps we should move on...
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