The last week I spent in Lansing for school (It was Hard.. I feel dumb) and met some very funny and nice people there. shout out to Kathrine, Tracy, Paula and Amy, I know you passed. Hope that your life and shopping is getting back on track. I have to go to a tea party today. My family is funny. Love to all...

I had a friend die last month and could not bring myself to write anything. She was so full of life it is hard to let her go. Her name was Rhonda Schlund. In my minds eye I picture her running around 100 miles an hour,juggling 10 jobs at once, that was her. She lived big. She died big too, Rhonda had a brain aneurism while on a caribbean cruise. I guess that should be the way she would go, and not sitting at home. Someone at the funeral said that " it takes alot of us to live our lives much longer than it did Rhonda. She just always took up her job and got it done." I guess that was a true statement. She has has in death continued to give to her fellow man by donating her useable organs. to date there have been 4 successful transplants. She was a great girl.
I feel so bad for her kids, they gave her such joy. The last time I saw her she came to stand with our family at the football homecoming game and take pictures for us when we walked Paul out on the Field for being Homecoming Rep for the Junior Class. When we came back up to the stands Paul took his corsage off and gave it to Rhonda. She looked at me and said you should give this to your mom, for your scrap book. I said " Rhonda, he gave it to you. you've been special to him and just let him show that. " She kept the flower. That was the last flower we will give her. Our time and money for her will now go to her memorial scholarship fund. She worked so hard for the athletic boosters, long after her son was out of school. she did it for the kids. We were new friends to Rhonda and mourn for the time we will not get with her. And feel such sorrow for her sons. She was a fun friend and Mom. Thank you, Good bye my friend.

My Favorite Bart Simpson Chalkboard Sayings

I am not a dentist
Underwear should be worn on the inside
The Christmas Pageant does not stink
I will not torment the emotionally frail
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
I will not conduct my own fire drills
Funny noises are not funny
I will not spin the turtle
I will not fake seizures
This punishment is not boring and pointless
I will not prescribe medication
I will not bring sheep to class
A burp is not an answer
Teacher is not a leper
I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call
Goldfish don't bounce
No one is interested in my underpants
I do not have diplomatic immunity
I will not charge admission to the bathroom
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
I am not delightfully saucy
Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does
Next time it could be me on the scaffolding
I will not strut around like I own the place
The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far
I do not have power of attorney over first graders
I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface
Hillbillies are people too
It does not suck to be you
A trained ape could not teach gym
Fridays are not "pants optional"
Substitute teachers are not scabs
My suspension was not "mutual"
I will not dance on anyone's grave
I cannot hire a substitute student
I will not plant subliminal messagores
I will not publish the Principal's credit report
This school does not need a "regime change"

Nice sword... umh, er, Pointy thingy

You know the saying a picture is worth a thousand words,

I think a Really Good picture will just induce stunned silence while commiting the image to memory.

Yo ho Yo Ho A pirate's life for me.

Sweet Isabelle, my sheepdog puppy. she actually wants some sheep to boss around. she is always trying to "herd" everyone. Me, the kids, the cats. she will hold down the cat and lick her head. I went to pet the cat and her head was crusty with dryed dog slobber ha! funny dog

Cheney coverty incited a world wide panic....

The following news story will be a better example what the hell??.

I believe there is an oceanic plot amongst the aquatic sea life to take back the oceans at ANY cost. They mean business. Or Vice President Cheney has invented a Stingray repellant and has covertly incited a world wide panic that he will then profit from, You decide.....

A Fla. boater stabbed in chest by stingray
Thu Oct 19, 9:21 AM ET
LIGHTHOUSE POINT, Fla. - An 81-year-old boater was in critical condition Thursday after a stingray flopped onto his boat and stabbed him, leaving a foot-long barb in his chest, authorities
"It was a freak accident," said Lighthouse Point acting fire Chief David Donzella. "It's very odd that the thing jumped out of the water and stung him. We still can't believe it."
Fatal stingray attacks like the one that killed "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin last month are rare, marine experts say. Rays reflexively deploy a sharp spine in their tails when frightened, but the venom coating the barb usually causes just a painful sting for humans.
James Bertakis of Lighthouse Point was on the water with his granddaughter and a friend Wednesday when the stingray flopped onto the boat and stung Bertakis. The women steered the boat to shore and called 911.
Surgeons were able to remove some of the barb, and Bertakis, who also suffered a collapsed lung, underwent surgery late Wednesday and early Thursday, the Miami Herald reported on its web site.
Ellen Pikitch, a professor of marine biology and fisheries at the University of Miami, who has been studying stingrays for decades, said they are generally docile.
"Something like this is really, really extraordinarily rare," she said. "Even when they are under duress, they don't usually attack."
ChrisRocks

a recent rash of survey djour has me posting this

Our most recent email has us exploring our relationship check out what follows... Me sending out the most girly of stupid survey's and my "friend" Heidi again beating me up in the humor war. Well, Battle on home girl, can I call you home girl if we grew up in farm town?

Brandon--a quaint little drinking community with a farming problem ..

Four things about me.
Things you may not have known .....
FOUR JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE:
1. Destiny's mom I have to work at this everyday
2. Bartender
3. Appraiser
4. Writer


FOUR MOVIES I WOULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:
1. Santa Clause
2. You've got mail
3. Die hard movies
4. Elf



FOUR PLACES I HAVE LIVED:
1. Royal Oak
2. Oxford
3. Arvada, Colorado
4. Lapeer County

FOUR OF MY FAVORITE FOODS:

1. FRUIT
2. crock pot meals
3. Crackers
4. sandwiches

FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1 Manhattan, New York
2. Vermont
3. Alaska
4. Ireland

PEOPLE I THINK WILL RESPOND:
1. Beth
2. Heidi
3. Diana Lewis from the Chanel 7 action news desk
4. Jon Depp (yea that's right I call him Jon)

shows I miss that were canceled.
1.ally Mcbeal
2.Mister Sterling a show with josh brolin it was good
3. X-files
4.Seinfeld

Favorite guilty pleasure.
1. baby bottle pops
2. watching Jon Stewart late at night.
3. computer games
4.shopping on eBay

What are my personal accomplishments
1. quitting smoking
2. remaining XL it's hard to eat all that stuff
3. always striving to learn more and grow my knowledge of the world
4. being cheerful through the pain, back pain, family pain, pain of knowing I'm funnier than Heidi

four people who have passed I would like to talk to
1. Joe Sutter
2. Kathrine Hepburn
3. Ann Richards
4. Grandma DeLine

COOL things I can do that few know about
1. take great photos (better than my friend Carol)
2. Cook
3. do computer stuff
4. funny stuff with my lips

my four favorite Quotes:
The more you read, the more you know. The more you know, the smarter you grow. The smarter you grow, the stronger your voice, when speaking your mind or making your choice.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

It's our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities
- Albus Dumbledore
The world is no longer a romantic place, however, some of its people are, Therein lies the promise-John Cage

The last one- is me- I am a romantic I believe in hope, kindness and everlasting love. blech.



Heidi wrote:
Four things about me.Things you may not have known .....
FOUR JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE:
1. DOC Eyewear: Optician (Not glasses, eyewear dammit! Some guy once told me he wanted sexy specs that looked so sexy his wife would rape him when he got home. I said, "They are sexy specs but sir there are no guarantees.)
2. Webcam Daycare (Fired because my child beatings were caught on tape)
3. Oakland Press Telephone Sales (Lasted one week, but I felt the telemarketer love...)
4. Coca-cola: secretary (Fucked up the file system in a week, but I still miss the free Tab diet cola)
FOUR MOVIES I WOULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:
1. 50 First Dates (Love Adam Sandler most of the time)
2. The Wizard of Oz (Although I would add an additional bonus segment where she returns home and wreaks her murderous vengeance on Auntie Em and Uncle Henry.)
3. Shakespeare in Love (Only because David said he liked it...David... sigh.)
4. Oh crap, I don't know... um... over and over? Um... I did like Housesitter with Steve Martin but over and over... why would anyone watch anything over and over.. this question makes me want to slit my wrists. Christi you said Die Hard Movies!! OMG! What about that one, I think it's the first one, where that blond guy is hanging way up high from a meat hook or something and then he comes back to life? It was like Halloween when Jason won't die. Have you seen Bruce Willis' daughter Rumor? Scary. And what's up with Demi getting married to Ashton? Isn't that illegal or something???

FOUR PLACES I HAVE LIVED:
1. Are we including past lives because the huts of my native village kicked some serious ass!
2. cardboard box
3. Pontiac... sigh.
4. Slums of Clarkston
FOUR OF MY FAVORITE FOODS:
1. Pie
2. Fluffernutters (Not really, I just like to say fluffernutters.)
3. Chinese pea pods
4. Remember when we used to make buttered noodles? Wait! That is NOT my fourth favorite food!!! The answer is (drum roll).... SMARTIES!!! Plus they are fun to throw at people when they aren't looking.
FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1 Getting a frontal lobotomy, you think I'm joking.
2. Hawaii
3. Across the room in the comfy chair
4. Lying under the front wheels of a moving semi truck. I'm having a bad day...
PEOPLE I THINK WILL RESPOND:
1. Nobody really, I'm only sending this to you and you probably won't respond because you sent it to me. Damn... nobody. I hate my life and I wish I was dead.
2. ZERO
3. NOBODY
4. I'm weeping now. Real nice question. Real nice.

shows I miss that were canceled.
1. Mr. Ed (If Mr. Ed could talk, how come he never complained about having to stand in a pile of his own urine-soaked straw?)
2. The Flintstones (I had a secret crush on Barney, wanted to do him in the waterbuffalo lodge.)3. The Brady Bunch (I always wanted somebody to catch Alice and Sam doin it.)
4. The Partridge Family (David Cassidy, what a fag.)TV is a tool of Satan.

Favorite guilty pleasure.
1. Drugs
2. Alcohol
3. Cigarettes
4. Porn Not in that order.'

What are my personal accomplishments
1. Responding to this email. It took effort, dammit.
2. Buying car tires today. Shopping for tires is not a girls favorite thing. They should make them different colors or something.
3. Accepting Jesus Christ as my personal savior. Let's chat for a few hours. God loves you. Love him or burn in the fiery depths hell. I'll bring my Bible.
4. Drummer for the Grateful Dead

four people who have passed I would like to talk to
1. Albus Dumbledore (He is dead, get over it people.)
2. John Lennon (He was awesome.)
3. Elvis (Not because I particularly cared about him, just so I could tell everyone I talked to Elvis.)
4. George Washington (What's up with the wig, you look like a girl.)

COOL things I can do that few know about
1. I can take better photos than Carol too.
2. fix a vaccuum cleaner.
3. Do angel readings, I'm working on it!
4. I'm really good at bitching about shit...but most people know about that.--"funny stuff with my lips" I remember that! Girl, that was pure talent!!

my four favorite Quotes:
"Beans beans the musical fruit, the more you eat em..." oh sorry, it just had the same rhythm as your first quote.

"I don't really know how to respond to you without using the term "rat's ass." Um, I think that was Frasier.

"Harry is a horcrux!" Me

"Stop looking at me Shwan!" Billy Madison

I took the day off work to buy tires. What an adventure!:) xxoo

Here's my blog: http://krisandheidi.blogspot.com/It's me and a friend writing it. Visit only if you are so bored you have absolutely nothing better to do.


OMG I almost put down buttered noodles but did not want people judging my fat ass on that, so I changed it to crock pot stuff sneakily thinking I can put buttered noodles in a crock pot! Heh Heh!

And listen, when you spend every weekend of your life, with four males, die hard is the best you get. I suppose that I should have put down tolerate. but going with that...Chris Farley movies, Adam Sandler movies, Will Farrell movies you get the just. mindless, child like humor, I am not above it. "The seat belt is broken what do you suggest I do?" I suggest you quick being such a faggot, your in the back seat" classic quote from Old School. There's something about that movie that just does it for me. I think it's Will streaking the Quad. or shooting himself in the neck..

KRIS and HEIDI"S Blog! who's KRIS, you two timing Kris Whore. no one likes people who spell their name in a cute way.... Oh,, My name is Amy, Oh is that A,M,Y, ? "No, comes the reply it's-- AIMYEE," come on now! I need a nap. Oh yea, Oh yea, well I spell my name. C,H, the number9, %, the periodic sign for borax and the letter Q! just go ahead and try to spell my name correctly.

So who is she? I feel so violated. so used. I am going back to my bad picture taking friend, who is also into sweat lodging, Carol. she is funnier than you.

several minutes later., No shes not, she'll never be you, I'm sorry. you can have other friends, as long as I am still the favorite. what? I'm in the top ten?! Okay that's OK, just as long as you respect me. What? you think I'm stupid? that is not respectful, I'm outta here. several seconds later...I forgot my gum, what's that? You need someone to change your tires? I can do that! I bet the other KRIS can't do that for you right? See you do need me.

your exhausting
Christi*